Develop Healthy Relationships

Healthy relationships have a significant effect on our health and happiness. In fact, it is one of the strongest predictors of physical and mental health. For example, you’re 36% more likely to quit smoking if your friends also quit. Studies have even shown that strong social connections can increase your longevity by up to 50%.

Our brains are wired for social connection. So much so that when we experience feelings of social isolation and rejection, the same neural pathways are activated as when we experience physical pain. Indeed, social connection is critical to our survival. But the quality of our relationships matters more for our health and well-being than quantity.

While supportive friends, colleagues and romantic partners can significantly improve our lives, unhealthy relationships can cause just as much harm as no social connection at all. That’s why maintaining high quality relationships is so critical to all areas of our well-being.

Here are ways to improve your well-being by building and maintaining healthy relationships with your colleagues and loved ones.

1. Be selective. Understand your wants and needs before you jump into a relationship of any kind, personal, professional or romantic. Take the time to outline your guiding principles for each type of relationship you seek to establish. For example: “It’s more important to have a romantic partner who shows compassion toward me than one who can offer me financial security” or “I thrive in work environments that foster collaboration and supportive relationships.”
2. Practice open communication. Engage in open, honest and respectful communication and active listening in all of your relationships. When conflict arises, it’s important for you and the other person involved in the conflict to share your opposing views. Stay calm (you may need to take a few minutes or hours to cool down before you have your discussion), take the time to listen, be affirming and discuss your issues in a constructive manner. Use “I statements” when you express your feelings so you do not assign blame or speak to someone else’s intent. Avoid assumptions and try to get to the actual root of your conflict so that you can constructively resolve it.
3. Empathize and forgive. It’s as important for your relationships as it is for your own mental health to forgive and show compassion for others. Practice empathy toward all people and build relationships with people who show compassion and empathy toward you.
4. Show gratitude. Whether it’s through affection, a note, a few kind words or a gift, it’s important to consistently show gratitude and appreciation for your loved ones. A hug for a loved one, thank you note to a colleague or present for a friend to let them know you were thinking about them can really enhance the quality of your relationships by making your loved ones feel valued.
5. Be respectful. Simply put, being respectful means having regard for another. It means that both of you consider and value each other’s emotions, feelings, experiences and beliefs, even if you may not always agree with them. Mutual respect is critical to building and maintaining healthy relationships.
6. Make connection a priority. Make time to connect and bond with the significant people in your life. Sometimes it can get difficult to find time to truly connect, especially when you’re managing the stress of your personal and professional responsibilities, but it’s critical to building and maintaining strong relationships.
7. Don’t lose sight of yourself. Connecting with others is important but it’s also healthy to maintain your own sense of personal space. There is a balance between closeness and distance in any relationship and it’s important that you define what that looks like for you.

Relationships aren’t one size fits all, but it’s important to do what works for you and your loved ones, and remember to always take care of yourself.